Do you ever have that moment of doubt? That moment when you’re not sure how you’re going to get through what you’re in the middle of? That happened to me yesterday and I was quickly reassured by the divine that we are all loved, guided, and supported. Sometimes, we just have to quiet our minds to hear that love and support which is always readily available.
I’ve definitely eased into motherhood gently. I’m always a proponent of good boundaries and I have asked my husband for help when I felt I needed it. I haven’t gone to the grocery store too many times by myself since the car seat takes up the entire cart. I’ve done it but I don’t like it. Since I stocked up on non-perishable items before giving birth, I am still working on eating everything I bought. Fortunately, I have a great support system too. There have been many times that Nathan has picked up food on the way home from work. Also, there have been times when Nathan or my mother stayed in the car with the baby while I quickly ran into the store.
The weather is so cold this time of year! As a result, I have chosen to limit how much I’ve taken the baby outdoors. We spend a lot of time at home or visiting family and friends at their houses. Yesterday, I decided I would brave going to the grocery store and stop at the bank in the store. I put on the Ergobaby carrier and slipped Gavin into it. With that setup I was actually able to use the grocery cart… for groceries. It was great to see how people would light up seeing Gavin. Although I couldn’t see Gavin’s face, I know that he’s such a smiley baby. He was undoubtedly smiling at those people. The bank teller even commented on how beautiful his smile was and I replied, “he loves to spread sunshine wherever he goes.” She agreed with me.
Towards the end of the shopping trip, the cart was brimming with groceries. At that moment, I was struck with doubt about how I was going to get all this loaded in the car outside in the cold and then how I was going to get it all in the house once I got home – all while keeping Gavin happy. At that exact moment, a new song came on over the sound system. The timing was absolutely perfect. The song reminded me of my Grandpa Perry. I knew it was a sign not to worry and that everything was being taken care of. At that moment, I prayed a prayer of gratitude for the reminder. During my prayer, I also affirmed “I hand all the details to you, God.”
Everything did indeed work out! I got the baby into the car seat while I loaded up the car. He even fell asleep on the way home so he slept through me unloading the car and putting away the groceries. Afterward, I said a prayer of gratitude. I know some people may say, “Who cares if the baby is happy. Do what you have to do.” Raising my son is not only my job but a sacred honor. If he is sad it is like bad customer service on my part. His contentedness has value to me. I do my best to have a fusion of a parent-led and baby-led schedule. I do my best to be his first teacher and his first playmate. I am glad that my faith in being able to joyfully run errands is still intact. Life is indeed made of the little things. When have you had a moment or doubt? How did things turn out? Departed loved ones are always sending sign of love and support. When was the last time your recognized that one of your departed loved ones sent you a sign?
Eva Borho, M.A., L.M.T., Intuitive Author, Holy Fire Reiki Master, Spiritual Coach and Teacher